Hmm...

It's been a while... I have tonnes going on with me right now... but I guess I always do lol.

Jake's moving to London. I'm so excited!!! : )... it's gonna make things so much easier for us. I hate him being 3 hours away! It's WAY too hard.. I was considering moving there, but being the amazing person he is, he decided to give up Toronto for a year and come be with me : )... I love him with all my heart, the summer and next year are gonna be AMAZING!

School's going, slowly but surely... it's been sooo nuts lately. I have so many projects due next week and test start then too... it's good I guess, keeps me out trouble (kinda haha). I've been doing 13 hour days at school, it seems so dumb that I'm paying rent when I'm like never here lol.. but it's still a good place to be when I just want to get away from it all. I was SO close to dropping out last week but I realised that life isn't easy you just have to get over it. So I'm there till the end.

Jazz and Karl broke up a couple weeks back so I went out to Barrie and got totally wrecked with her it was pretty awesome! haha... had a great time.... they're back together now, I don't really know how I feel about him... she says he's awesome and she cares about him so much. When I met him though I didn't like him... he was rude and hurtful and disrespectful... and seemed really controlling... but I only met him once so it's not for me to judge. He broke up with her cause he said he couldn't "stop thinking about" her and that he needed to "focus more on school" so apparently the answer was to break up with her and then a week later said he wanted to get back together with her... my take on that is he wanted to fuck another girl so he did that and then got back together with her... all I know is I don't feel that he deserves my best friend and I really hope he doesn't hurt her anymore.

Life's been so wierd lately... everything is so up in the air and last minute craziness... I feel like I have no control of anything anymore. It's kinda scary. I feel like everything's a mess... but at the same time I feel like it's a beautiful mess... when you're a teenager I find that part of the beauty to life is not knowing what's next... never being able to just make things do what you want them to. Everytime something has worked out differently then I wanted it to, something incredible and beautiful has always come of it... maybe part of growing up is realising that it's ok to have chaos sometimes. I've realised that I can't sweat the small stuff and that sometimes it's ok to be down. Life will always let you pick yourself up if you stay strong... no matter how low you get you can always get back up agian. This year I think is going to be a lot of lessons learned for me... hopefully I can keep up : )