Sunday, July 19, 2009

workin... or at least I should be lol

It's been a while since I've posted... I've really been trying to stay busy so that I don't think of him.

the last couple weeks have been great... my best friend Kyle and I are back in touch and close agian.... I missed him sooo much! I went to a good buddy of mine from high school's wedding, I'ver been hanging out with people I lost touch with and I've been partying which of course is fun too... It's been really great. I missed this life. I feel like I'm Chantelle again.

Only down side is I miss having someone to come home to... someone to tell my stories from the day to... someone to love me... and for me to love.

I'm having fun and I'm in a better place then I was but I still miss him everyday. I think of him everyday and I still love him... the hardest part is I know he loves me too and he's told me he misses me just as much... I wish we could just start over. Completely fresh.. just like when we first met. If I knew then what I know now I would've done ANYTHING to make things better and make things work with him..

I went out with a bunch of friends last night here in Town... it was my first night on the town since I moved up here... it was a lot of fun.. got wayyyyy too wasted lol and saw people that I've missed dearly for a long time.. unfortunately my cell has been fucking up lately so I lost track of a couple people that would've also come out but that's the way it goes I guess lol..

overall I'm feeling better... not hating myself anymore which is a start... I'm just taking it a day at a time... only time will tell.

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