It's been sooo long! I'm usually not this slack on here, been super busy with work though!
Work is going well finally.
I have a new roomate which means I'm living with 2 guys right now.. I love them but this house is too small for 3 people!! I'm startin to go a little crazy..
I've been doing well, feeling much better about things... J and I have found common ground and sorted through shit so we're friends now which is nice, I wasn't sure it was possible. He's back with his ex and it's what he needs right now. When he was talking about her with me and I saw the look on his face and heard how he feels and what he's going through and all of the sudden everything just clicked for me...
My memory flashed to a broken girl last January that couldn't figure out how to heal her heart. She got back with her ex even though it was wrong, and about 4 months later she walked from him because she realized it wasn't right. She needed to go back in order to know for sure.
Like me last year, he needs to go back, he needs to know for sure and if it works out for him then I couldn't be happier for him. If not, he has a friend in me when it all falls apart.
I'm working on myself still, something I'll do until the day I die I'm sure. I feel better though, feel like I'm getting somewhere finally. I just have lapses here and there, so does everyone else! It's not worth hating myself over or feeling stupid for. He had feeling for me that was true, just being in this city (where she's from and lives) stirred something in him he thought was over and gone from him. I remember those feelings everytime I used to go to Toronto.
It's strange to remember that broken girl. I am so different now. I never thought I could live without him, never thought I would be ok, felt like a hole had been ripped in my soul, yet I picked myself up and 2 years later I'm on the other side of it and happier than I've ever been.
Life has a strange and beautiful way of working itself out.
Have a happy long weekend loves!