Sick?? Again?? WTF???

Since I got out here I'm sick like once a month!! it's RIDICULOUS! I'm pretty sure I have strep throat :( UGHHHHHH.. it hurts to swallow... turn my head... breathe... shit it even hurts to blink!! I think it's cause my Roomate works at an elementary school... he's always bringin diseases home!! hahaha

Today's Trade Deadline... since I work for an all sports talk station and a rock station that's a pretty big deal! We're live on location all day, so I'm gonna head down there around noon to hang out and hand out free stuff :) I hope people aren't scared of me and my disease! hahaha.. For weeks now we've been working on the new layout of the site for today... we changed the background... we had a clock... an announcement board... totally different then it normally is... get in this morning and OF COURSE there's tech problems at head office so Astral sites Canada wide are down. Of course on the busiest day of the year for our sports station... the one day that we get more hits as an AM stations then FM stations do, we have no website to drive them too at this point... swellllllllll ... lol.

Well at least I'm laughing about it... it's just one of those funny days where nothing works... what else can ya do?

Hope everyone's having a better Monday then mine hahahaha

I Miss Summer!

Not much to talk about today..

Going to metal show tonight... Bought a new outfit and cute accessories... Love<3 hahaha

Then tomorrow I think I'm going to see Ontario Man. I'll be hung over as shit but it will be well worth the visit ;)

Sunday is clean up day! Need to clean my room, do laundry, go grocery shopping.. and maybe possibly dinner with my cousins.

Should be a good weekend!

Enjoy sleeping in loves!

God.

Someone asked me yesterday if I'm a christian... For most of my life my instant answer to that question would have been an immediate and stern Yes. Yesterday however, I found myself struggling to figure out the answer to that question.

Do I believe in God? YES. Where I struggle with this question is the "religion" that is associated with being christian. I believe that there is something (God) much greater then our human minds can comprehend. We don't control our fate, we don't decide what needs to or is going to happen in our lives, God does.

When I read a bible and it tells me Homosexuals are unacceptable, or women can't talk in church, or that it's a sin to eat pork, I start to have a hard time believing in christianity. I find it VERY hard to believe that God sat down with a human and said "alright, lets make a book of all the things I DON'T want you humans to do, to start off, if you're gay you're diseased and I won't love you, next women aren't equal to men make sure you put that in there, ohh and don't forget, NEVER eat a pig!"

Really?? The creator of the world, the creator of this amazing form that is called a human, the spirit that controls everyone's fate and gives us all a purpose was concerned about eating pork, who you fuck, and wanted there to be inequality in the species that HE created? I don't know about you but I have a hard time believing that. Which is why I don't say I'm christian, but the answer is yes I believe in God.

That's my thought of the day haha.

have a good day loves!

I wonder what my life would be like if...

- My step mom never went crazy and became an alcoholic..

-My biological mom never left when I was a baby and treated me better throughout my life..

-My Dad never got his heart broken and watched his life and family fall apart before his eyes..

-I never met Jake..

I know things happen for a reason... but I can't help but wonder who I'd be if my life went the way I used to wish and pray it for it to go.

Have a good day my loves :)

It's a new day :)

Well... today is definitely a new day :)

I'm feeling soooo much better! I've figured out what I need to do and I'm just going to do it... just going to hang out and lay low for a while.

If there's one thing I've learned in life it's that no matter how hard you try... you DON'T control what happens in your life... you can direct life... you can lead yourself down the right path... but the things that happen along the path are going to happen regardless of your choices and somehow in the end it all works itself out and you eventually realize why those things happened...

I am who I am... God makes no mistakes... he wouldn't have made me who I am and brought me through all that I've been through if there wasn't a purpose or reason for it... from now on I'm going to try to enjoy the ride and stop stressing so much...

Life is good because I'm alive... not because of things that happen day to day... I need to remember that...


What will be... Will be. :)

Have a great day my loves!

Daddy?

I'm miserable.

I miss home.

I miss my daddy and nana and papa.

I miss my friends.

Maybe I'm in over my head...


I just wanna go home.

Changes before 2012...

1) Stop getting soooo upset when things go wrong... take a minute and think about it... then react

2) BE QUIET! I'm always too loud and it's probably embarassing for those that are friends with me and annoying

3) Stop correcting people... so they said May 5th when it is really May 6th... It really doesn't matter!

4) Get thicker skin... it's ok to make mistakes... it's not the end of the world that not EVERYONE likes me... some people just don't get along.

5) Shut the fuck up... Listen... observe... only speak when I have something worthwhile to say.., Don't talk just to talk!!


Those are 5 things I need to make a solid effort to change... it will help me, my career, and my relationships with people.

Love day....

Happy love day everyone :)

Plenty of my friends are bitter about today... "stupid no good hallmark day" ...

I think people miss the point... Many argue that you should show your love everyday... which is comepletely true! But not everyone can afford to buy flowers, chocolates, and gifts, for their loved ones all the time... I think the point of today is more to remind people to appreciate their loved ones and to give an opportunity to spoil your loved ones another day of the year :)

I'm not into relationships right now... don't want one at all actually... which is a strange thing for me... I've always loved relationships but ever since my ex... haven't had any desire to get involved at all with anyone...


I have a couple guy friends that I'm undeniably more than "just friends" with.. but it's more for fun then it is for feelings... I have no feelings emotionally anymore it seems... to the point where I get uncomfortable when someone does try to get close to me...

Maybe I'm crazy... maybe I just need the right man... who knows

Either way that's my little V-day rant hahah

Have a good day xo!

Time to get back into this!

I haven't written in a very long time... So much has changed...

I was reading through my blog and I appreciated that I had so many memories and feelings stored away that it inspired me to start writing again... it's important to remember...

Let's see...

Update 1 JOB: Well ladies and Gents I'm now an Albertan (not overly proud of it haha) I moved here October 27th from Ontario... I moved for a fulltime position in my career... it's challenging... ever changing... fun... and most importantly it's helping me grow :) I absolutely love it! I'm alwaysssss busy but you get used to it in the media industry... everything is 24/7 now. It's been a great experience so far and I hope to continue growing and learning from it!

Update 2 FRIENDS: Of COURSE I have my Stephie Boo and Jenni... they've been soooo supportive of me through all of the changing and moving around... They keep me grounded and I thank god that I have them in my life and I'm SOOOO blessed to be able to say they will stick by me for life... I went and visited home a week ago and the second I saw them it was like nothing had changed... all my friends back home have been great about it except for two of them that I cut long ago... *cough amanda cough cough britt*..... it's been so amazing having their support!! without them this wouldn't be possible for me... they've helped me stay strong and be brave through everything <3

Update 3 LOVE LIFE: Dun dun dah dunnnnn I'm a single girl... and I know that probably comes as no surprise to anyone...it did come as a surprise to me though... I'm surprised I was ever actually strong enough to walk away from him... I left him last June... Him and his ex started getting a little too chatty and I got fed up... I finally hit my breaking point and I finally realized it was him that I needed out of my life... not parts of me that I needed to change... I've been single ever since and love it that way! I'm young and have tons of time to settle down when I'm older... I love me and I don't want to take time for someone else right now or anytime soon.... my friends are all betting that someone will sweep me up soon but I'm content being me... as steph would put it " You're a heart breaker just by being good looking" hahahahah I love her so much... she makes me laugh...

Update 4 NEW ME: I'm a very different person... Finally feeling good about myself... I feel great about my job.... and I have confidence in myself... of course I'm still the same goofy clumbsy idiot kid at heart (I always will be)... but now I've learned to love myself for those qualities...



In the words of Rihanna... I Came To Win... To Fight... To Conquer... To Fly... I Came To Win... To Survive... To Prosper.... To Rise... To Fly.


Lets see where life takes me next :)