Thursday, September 8, 2011

Proud of myself...

For the first time in over a year now, I'm making the right decisions with my life and I'm sticking to them!

1. Excersize.- I've started crossfit, and even though it kicks my ass I love it and I'm going to keep challenging myself with it!

2. Diet. - I've started "clean" eating.. no more junk! Less sugar, etc.

3. Not smoking.- 8 days smoke free and I KNOW I'll never go back to it again!

4. Not getting wasted all the time.- it's been 4 weeks since the last time I got wasted. That doesn't sound like much to the average person but I used to get wasted at least twice a week.

5. Respecting myself.- I've met a guy who is so totally amazing. We'll call him McDreamy, cause he really is my McDreamy, I'm into him, he's into me, we're into the same sports teams and music, we have the same interests, we're just a really great match and we click soooo well. He has just recently moved out here, I had met him before, but until he started working as a rep that works in some ways with our station (a couple weeks ago) I wasn't sure we'd ever have a future. Now that he's moved here we've started getting much closer and we click soooo well. He had a gf back in the town he moved here from so I was very apprehensive... they'd been together for a couple months and weren't anything serious, but they were still together none the less... They've recently broken up, and I want to just instantly go hang out with him, instantly be dating him, but I know I need to give him time... So last night I told him that I don't want to talk for a little while ..I said that I want him to take space to clear his head and figure things out and when he's ready I want him to come to me...even though he didn't love his girl breaking up still sucks. I'm a 22 year old blonde that loves sports and rock music and is into the same stuff as him.. it's so easy to leave someone who's a province away if you know you have someone else to fall back on you know?

I told him that I didn't want it to be like that. I told him I'm worth more than just a fuck or whatever and that I wanted to do this right ...

he said that I'm right, that I'm worth WAYYYY more than that. That I'm one of the most incredible, inspiring and beautiful people he's ever met. He said he wouldn't be able to bear it if he caused me pain, that he doesn't want me to have to work for this, but that HE wants to work for it. He thanked me for being patient and laying my boundaries and giving him time to sort everything out...

So I'm going to let him come to me.. To be honest, with how I feel at this point I'll wait for as long as he needs to clear his head and get things together.

For the first time in a long time I'm proud of myself, I'm feeling better about myself, I'm happier, and I have FINALLY taken control of things and taken MY life back. Something I haven't been able to do since everything fell apart when Jake left... it took me a long time but everyone's process is different... I'm happy with mine :)

Sorry for the mile long update... just wanted to share. xo

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