LIfe.. is good.

Things are going well with me... Life is good... I have daily stresses but they're usual...all the things that have been stressing me and driving me crazy over the last little while seem to have sorted themselves out..

Papa's surgery went well and he's doing fine... my tests came back mostly negative at the hospital, one more procedure and I should be done with drs for a while... Work is settling and I'm finding my place... I've got some great people surrounding me out here and the ones that aren't great are gone... Life is good.

Isn't it funny how that works? One month things are a disaster and you don't know how you're possibly going to surface for air... next month all that was wrong has come together and you're doing great....

Life is up and down... always moving one way or the other... it's tough but we all need to learn to ride out the downs and celebrate the ups... there will always be something to complain about and something to be happy about... I want to start being happy more then spending my time complaining... it's exhausting always looking at what's wrong... and soo easy to forget what's going right...

I had a moment of total peace the other night... I completely cleaned my room did all my laundry and was laying on my bed listening to music while I sorted through a box of things that I brought back here with me from back home... I didn't know what was in it.. I packed it last October... in that box was a bunch of pictures of my ex and I... I also came accross a letter from him while cleaning... I had never seen the letter before and it was called "The reasons why I love Chantelle Marrie"... it was 2 pages front and back.. packed with tiny writing and a million things about me that he had fallen in love with... I cried when I read this... not because I miss him... but because there's so much emotion attached to the thought of him... He will always have a place in my heart... I will always love him in some way because he was such a huge part of my life... the pictures and the letters reminded me of what we had... we had something so pure... so real.. so strong.. something I thought would last forever... he loved me and I loved him in a way that I will never share with anyone else... those are MY memories and they were my feelings and no one else needs to understand them.. I started to burn one of the pictures... I let it burn up... and then I realized I didn't care to burn them... I have no anger anymore... I have no hatred anymore... I have no pain anymore... I have no longing anymore.. I have nothing anymore for him... nothing but happy memories of what it means to be in love and I'm excited for whoever I fall in love with next... we started dating in 2007... Broke up in 2010... and now in 2011 I feel whole again and I've let go ...

I wonder what's waiting for me over the next 5 years...

Have a good day loves xo