Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tired...

Everyone has days where they feel like the weight of the world is on thier shoulders... today is that day for me.


My little brother lost his job.. him and 5 other people were let go from the shop he works at because they just aren't making enough money... This news comes to him after he got kicked out of my mom's place... My mom and I are the only family he has.. so now I'm the only family he has.. I just sent him some money and helped him get set up in his own place and now he's lost his job... I had to send him every last penny I have today so that he can keep his car on the road so that he can find a new job... I have no problem with this.. he is my brother.. I'd give him the world if I had it.. It's just stressful because now I have to make it through another week broke..

My mom called today... she's having a mental break down... wants to leave her bf.. wants to move... but she has no friends, she has no family, and I'm her only form of support... with me on the job hunt I can't tell her to come out here cause I don't know how much longer I'll even be here... I wish so badly I could just be there for her..

My sister facebooked me this morning from the public library... her and my PSYCHOTIC ex step mom (her mother) got in a huge fight this morning.. Not at all surprising as this happens all the time.. the difference this time is I'm not there to go pick her up and bail her out.. so I had to call my grandparents and get them to go to Toronto to get her.. they're on route and while they are I'm keeping her on facebook trying to make her feel better...

Work is so stressful... we're gearing up for ratings and it's just insane...

I'm exhausted and I don't know how to keep swimming right now..

As selfish as it sounds I just wish for once my family could take care of themselves.. I can't keep being everyone's support and rock.. it's killing me.

I'm tired.

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